


Mors Voluntaria

by Minew



Category: SHINee
Genre: Angst, Gen, sensitivesubject
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9983063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minew/pseuds/Minew
Summary: Jonghyun is awakened at 3 AM when a stranger calls and begs for him to save their life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story has mentions of characters who are suicidal and implications of self-harm.

Jonghyun goes to sleep around midnight. It has been a long day and he's completely exhausted. He doesn't greet his roommate and best friend Taemin goodnight when he finally snuggles into his sheets despite the other being in the living room playing on their play station. He's asleep shortly after. He's woken up a few hours later though, his ring tone cutting through the comfortable silence. He grabs his phone from his nightstand and squints when the light hits his face. It's 3 AM. His phone keeps ringing in his hand, an unknown number. Jonghyun contemplates not taking it and just hanging up on the stranger that has obviously gotten the wrong number in the middle of the night and go back to sleep but ends up accepting the call anyway. He guesses he can just politely tell the other that they have gotten the wrong number and go back to sleep. It should probably only take 30 seconds.

"Hello," he mutters and wets his lips when he realizes they're extremely dry. He has closed his eyes in the darkness now that his phone is against his ear and he's about to drift back into sleep when the other starts talking.

"I'm scared," they whisper and Jonghyun cracks an eye open. He can only see the vague silhouettes in his room but something about the other's voice gets to him. He's about to ask who he's talking to when the other voice talks again. "Help me," it says and Jonghyun thinks he can hear the other cry as well. With a little rustle, Jonghyun sits up in his bed with his back against the headboard and turns on his bedside lamp.

"Who am I talking to?" he asks but the other doesn't answer his question.

"I'm so scared," they say again and Jonghyun nods a little. He sort of understood that the first time. "I have the pills right in front of me. I just can't... I can't... What do I do?" The other breaks down crying again and Jonghyun decides that a name is not important. He can always get a name later. "I'm too cowardly to do it," the stranger cries and Jonghyun sits there and listens to the broken sobs on the other end. He doesn't know what to say exactly. He has always been bad at comforting people, Taemin has always told him that. He doesn't know what to say whenever someone is hurting but he can't hang up on this stranger. There's so much hurt and desperation in the other's voice. Jonghyun swallows the lump in his throat and drags his sheets a little closer around him.

"Talk to me. Tell me everything." That seems like a good approach to this. If only he can get the stranger to talk. There's a reason they called him, right? It may be the wrong number but Jonghyun can't let the other kill himself. Jonghyun thinks it's a pretty good plan just to get the other to talk.

"I don't want to live anymore but I'm so scared," the stranger says and sniffles. Jonghyun is pretty sure the other is still crying.

"Why don't you want to live anymore?" It's a daring question and Jonghyun crosses his fingers silently that it won't be the wrong question.

"I'm sorry," the stranger says and Jonghyun hears the sound of tin foil being broken and a glass being opened. It scares him. It scares him a lot and it doesn't make his anxiety any smaller when there's absolute silence afterwards.

"Hey?" he says into his phone but he doesn't get an answer. "Hey, you there?" Panic is rising in Jonghyun and he even contemplates hanging up and calling the police or 119 but how is he supposed to save a stranger he doesn't know and can't direct the paramedics to? "Hey!" he says again, panic present in his voice. He gets out of his bed and slips on his slippers. He's going to wake up Taemin. Taemin can help him.

"I'm scared," the stranger suddenly whispers and Jonghyun sighs in relief.

"Tell me what happened." There's silence again for a few seconds. "Tell me what happened!" Jonghyun wills himself to calm down when he hears the other gasp.

"Oh my god!" Jonghyun stands in front of his bedroom door, hand on the handle. "Oh my god, I called the wrong number," the voice whispers scandalized. "I'm so sorry!"

"No, it's okay! Please just tell me what happened. Did you take the pills?" He bites his lower lip and waits for the other to answer.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." And then he hears a click and the call disconnects and Jonghyun is left perplexed the next 10 seconds. He tries calling the number again but the other doesn't pick up and Jonghyun can feel panic rising in him again. He can't go back to sleep now. Not knowing that someone reached out in misery. So he hurries into Taemin's bedroom and shakes the other awake.

"Taemin!" The younger groans and turns his back to Jonghyun in his sleep. It's 3.30 AM and he needs Taemin's help and he needs it now. "Taemin!" Jonghyun shakes him awake and the taller boy turns around to look at Jonghyun's silhouette in the darkness.

"What is it?" he asks and yawns. Jonghyun hands him his phone.

"Please track the number that called me at 3 AM to a location." Taemin takes his phone but doesn't unlock it. The other doesn't want to squint in the sudden light. Taemin yawns again and Jonghyun can feel his patience growing thin. "Taemin, please, it's an emergency." Taemin sighs and sits up in his bed as well.

"Can't it wait until ... say 6 AM where I'm getting up anyway?" Jonghyun shakes his head.

"No, it's an emergency, Taemin." Taemin gets out of bed and turns on his computer and squints his eyes against the screen when it wakes up from its slumber. Jonghyun stands behind Taemin when he sits down in front of it. He's waiting anxiously and almost gets his toes run over by Taemin's desk chair when Taemin rolls back a little to look at him.

"Stop being so impatient!" But Jonghyun can't. It only takes a yawning Taemin a couple of minutes to trace the stranger's location at the time they called and he slips right back into bed. Jonghyun thanks the heavens that his best friend and roommate is a technical genius. He hurries out of Taemin's room when he gets his phone back with an address and without even thinking he hurries into the hallway and grabs his car keys. He's still in the sweats and t-shirt he's sleeping in but he doesn't think to change clothes. The only thing on his mind is the silence on the phone, the crying stranger and the sounds of tin foil popping. He needs to get there and he needs to get there fast.

He speeds through the non-existent traffic and maybe runs a few red lights before he parks his car in front of a tall building. It looks ragged and like it could collapse at the smallest of wind. As he stands outside the building Jonghyun realizes that he doesn't know which apartment the call came from. Taemin only tracked the call to the apartment complex. He sighs a little but decides there's only one way to find out, to ring every doorbell.

It stinks of pee when he runs up the stairs to the first floor but every door sign has more than one name on them and Jonghyun guesses the other was living alone. Who would've called a stranger in the middle of the night to ask for help if there were people close by who could've heard? Jonghyun also assumes he would've heard someone else if there had been anyone else. He continues up the stairs, covering his nose to keep out the stank when he reaches the second floor. The couple of doorbells he rings turns out to be elderly people.

Jonghyun gets to the third floor, determined to find the stranger. It's been a while since he has been this determined. There's a single name that stands out when he rushes through the floor. Kim Kibum reads the door sign and Jonghyun presses the bell and hopes the other is still conscious. There's rustling heard from inside the apartment and then the door swings open to reveal a tall man. His eyes are bloodshot and tear tracks are visible down his cheeks. He sniffs a little and tugs the sleeves of his big sweatshirt over his hands.

"Who are you?" he asks and it's obvious to Jonghyun that this is him. This is the man that called him a little over an hour ago. If not for the fact that the man looks absolutely broken, Jonghyun wouldn't have guessed he was suicidal. Jonghyun bets he's actually quite good looking when he isn't crying.

"Are you alright?" Jonghyun asks and the stranger shrugs. "Did you take any pills?" The question has the other widening his eyes. When it finally sinks in who Jonghyun is he bites his lower lip and shakes his head. Jonghyun doesn't believe him. "Can I come in?" The man, Kibum, steps out of his way. Jonghyun thinks it's a little weird to let a stranger into one's apartment but he guesses the other doesn't think he has anything to lose. Jonghyun enters the apartment, though, and follows the man into the living room. There's a lot of different pills spread out on the coffee table, Jonghyun doesn't even count them. There must be plenty enough to kill a man. There's also a few paper towels, most of them are filled with red splotches and Jonghyun turns around to look at the man. Kibum just hides a little more in his big sweatshirt.

"Why are you here?" he asks, voice fragile and Jonghyun finally realizes what on earth he's doing. He's standing in the middle of a stranger's home in the middle of the night. He could've called the police or 119 when he got Taemin to track down the address for him. There's absolutely no reason for him to be standing in his sleepwear and slippers in a stranger's apartment.

"I was scared of what you would do," he admits and looks towards the floor. Kibum sighs, flops down on the couch, brings his knees close to his chest and wraps his hands around them to keep them in place.

"Me too," he whispers and Jonghyun quickly hurries to sit beside him. Without thinking he wraps his hands around the other and brings him close in a hug. He doesn't know the right words but at least he can be there and make sure that the other isn't alone. Not tonight at least. Kibum falls asleep, crying with his head resting on Jonghyun's shoulder.

Jonghyun doesn't move at all for the next 6 hours. His body is aching and his muscles are close to spasms but he stays put until the other wakes up at 10 AM. He releases himself from Jonghyun's grip and Jonghyun slowly stretches his body, trying to prevent any cramps. When he looks up, Kibum is about to remove all evidence of last night. He squeaks when Jonghyun clears his throat and hurriedly hides his hands in his sleeves again.

"Are you okay?" Jonghyun asks and the other nods quickly.

"Yes yes. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. Do you want anything?" The atmosphere is awkward between the two strangers and Jonghyun suddenly feels like he intruded on something he shouldn't have. What happened yesterday night was personal. It was so intimate. Something he shouldn't have been a part of. He gets off the couch and shakes his head a little. He bites his lower lip and turns towards the front door.

"Hey," he says and contemplates on whether or not he should introduce himself. The other looks up and meets his eyes. "My name is Jonghyun. You can always call if you get scared again." He doesn't know if it's the right thing to say but he hopes that maybe he did something good. Kibum just nods but his eyes don't portray his nod.

"Thank you Jonghyun." It is the last thing Jonghyun hears before he closes the door behind him and steps out into the hallway. He takes the stairs down and doesn't even notice the pee stench because he's too deep in his thoughts.

He arrives back home to a silent apartment because Taemin has left for his classes and Jonghyun flops down on the couch and wonders whether or not Kibum really is okay. He hopes he will be.


End file.
